leggo your ego.
I'm my own worst enemy at times. when i let my ego loose, she goes in. I criticise myself, dwell on the mistakes i believe that i've made and expect so much from myself, now. I'm also guilty of that in others. It's definitely a control thing. and its something i've learnt does more damage than good and i need to stop.
on reflection i think alot of people do and manifest it in other ways. sometimes being negative and critical of others is a way of massaging ones ego, elevating ourselves by putting down others, picking at other peoples flaws and talking badly of others to avoid dealing with o3n own problems/insecurities. like in abusive relationships. you know when the insecure partner or the one with past issues is like YOU'RE doing this or YOU make me feel like this. deflecting.
I recently went on a meditation retreat in oxford for young and emerging leaders called 'choose, change, become' (that i would highly recommend - you can find details here) where i spent an amazing weekend with likeminded people, food for the soul. after discussing, journaling and sharing our experiences, thoughts and actions i came to the realisaton that in many ways my biggest block is overthinking and overanalysing.
Although being a bit of a dreamer or 'deep thinker' is definitely part of my character when the thoughts are overly and unfairly critical this isn't something to boast about. i've recently dubbed this living in my own head, with my own thoughts wurring around and coming to their own conclusions, re living moments passed, things said and things done. ego in action.
After noticing this in myself i start seeing the same behaviour in other people and despising it, and i'm now learning to let go. identifing this in myself just reminds me again that we're all just mere human beings and being judgemental and expectant of yourself and others isnt beneficial to our growth in any way. focusing on the parts that irritate you about others doesnt make our crappy parts go away. judging someone on their decisions and passing your opinion on someone else's choices isn't really speaking from a place of love is it? no matter how hard you might want to reason that it is. let those thoughts pass, hold a meds (i'm not judging!) and bring it back to the real - you!
The only real way of being able to progress fluidly in your mission, whether it's being a good artist, writer, efficient manager or whatever is letting your soul do the work, focus with determination on uplifting yourself by accepting your own faults and letting those egotistical traits dissolve.
There is a greatness in all of us but why spend valuable time and energy judging yourself and invalidating everything else around you? do you with confidence, let people walk their own path and more importantly let your soul glow.
Just some random thoughts! peace
“The problem is not that you think; it is that you keep identifying yourself as a ‘thinker’ and not as consciousness - the witness of thought.” - Mooji