The extra mile can't always be travelled.
I'm the type of person to always go that extra mile. It's partly in my DNA and partly my star sign (pisces, baby). But when does going that extra mile do more damage than it does good?
I suffered a spiritual burn out recently. Giving my all and then some into various areas of my life until I not only couldn't give anymore, but I could clearly feel all that I was doing was being taken for granted.
Part of that is the other party(s) fault. No doubt. Being ignorant to what another is putting in to a realtionship of any kind is a character flaw I would call self indulgent. Sometimes consciously, sometimes not.
But, here's the thing - why did I give to the point the other party could easily take without wanting to reciprocate (not that you give to receive but to be treated decently is enough appreciation for me) and when did I ignore that voice that I know told me to stop?
What was I trying to prove by exhausting myself and more pressing, who was I trying to prove a point to?
Although my analytical self has come to these conclusions already and I dont need to journal on here, I'm glad I clocked when I did so I could pull back and check myself before I literally wrecked myself.
Sadly though, when people are used to you putting them first - its hard when you flip it on them, without them thinking you're putting them last.
On the other side of that flip side though, you always see who's really down for you and how much people truly can exercise their compassion when they're not part of the immediate equation.
Sometimes, by letting go of what you cant control - which in my case can be when i'm trying to be 'fix' someone or better a situation that I'm unable to - and evaluate whether this extra miles is worth it, will save a lot of trouble.
When you possess self awareness and self assurance you listen to your gut, intuition, inner voice, whatever you wish to call it and it usually speaks your truth. If you're anything like me, and have exhausted yourself before that voice will warn you - have you been here before? Are you going against your better judgement; and is this extra mile worth travelling?
As a woman and as a natural giver I often find myself getting emotionally invested in that which I care about and being so sensitive to everything, including energies, I absorb it easily, for good or bad. The job I have to do to avoid spritual burn outs is listening to myself, usually achieved by my meditation and yoga and asking myself am I working to serve my best intentions even if my best intentions can seem self serving.
Selfish can actually be good.
Giving is a part of life. It's spiritual currency and you certainly co create your reality by giving what you would wish to receive. But as important as that is, you have to care for yourself which includes rebuking that which disturbs your soul, which can be in the form of frustration from wanting to control or overstand a situation and going the extra mile to do so, when really you should just be still and know that you can only do so much and your best is always good enough.